“Grow up.” “Act your age.” “Stop being so childish.” We’ve all heard these refrains, and our culture often treats playfulness in adults with suspicion, viewing it as immaturity or lack of seriousness. But could acting like an adult be holding us back from better health? Could it be hindering stronger relationships and a more fulfilling life? Recent research reveals what children have known all along: play isn’t just for kids.

Stuart Brown, founder of the National Institute for Play, defines play as an activity that is “voluntary, naturally motivated, and pleasurable”—something we do for its own sake that offers engagement and takes us out of linear time. A 2024 study published in the American Journal of Occupational Therapy identified five distinct patterns of adult play experiences: Creativity-Adventure, Restoration, Deep Engagement, Ludos (game-playing), and Mastery (Blanche et al., 2024). The benefits are measurable: adults who engage in regular play report higher life satisfaction, improved well-being, and for older adults, regular participation in leisure activities correlates with slower rates of memory loss and reduced risk of dementia (Willroth et al., 2023). Playful activities trigger the release of endorphins, reduce cortisol levels, and foster relaxation—effects that extend far beyond just “having fun.”

If play is the gateway, laughter is the key that unlocks its benefits, and the science is remarkable. While children laugh approximately 400 times per day, adults manage only about 15 laughs daily—a dramatic drop-off that may explain why so many struggle with stress management. Research from multiple institutions has documented laughter’s wide-ranging health benefits: it significantly reduces cortisol levels (Yim, 2016), decreases symptoms of depression and anxiety, and can improve short-term memory in older adults by nearly 50 percent. Physically, laughter increases stroke volume and cardiac output. It improves circulation and may reduce the risk of heart disease. Studies show that just 10-15 minutes of genuine laughter can burn up to 40 calories. Comedic movie scenes prompt vasodilation lasting up to an hour. For pain relief, sustained laughter for 20-30 minutes triggers the release of endorphins and endogenous opioids, with one study of cancer patients showing pain levels decreased by half (Dunbar et al., 2012). Laughter even boosts immune function by increasing natural killer cell activity and serum immunoglobulins. Remarkably, even “fake” laughter triggers real benefits. Research on laughter yoga shows improvements in depression, life satisfaction, and heart rate variability. The body doesn’t distinguish between spontaneous and simulated laughter when it comes to physiological benefits (Mora-Ripoll, 2011).

Here’s where many adults hit a wall: playing with children feels acceptable, even admirable, but being playful and silly with other adults can feel awkward, embarrassing, or “unprofessional.” This stigma is both culturally constructed and scientifically unfounded. Research on adult playfulness reveals that it’s not a sign of immaturity but rather a valuable personality trait and personal resource, defined as “the predisposition to frame or reframe a situation in such a way as to be experienced as personally interesting, intellectually stimulating, and entertaining” (Proyer, 2014). The distinction between “childish” and “childlike” is crucial here. Being childish implies irresponsibility and poor judgment. In contrast, being childlike means retaining curiosity, wonder, creativity, spontaneity, and emotional expressiveness.

Studies show that playful adults demonstrate enhanced creativity, greater cognitive flexibility, stronger social connections, and higher resilience in the face of adversity. A 2021 study found that during the COVID-19 pandemic, adults who perceived themselves as more playful reported higher levels of self-efficacy and improved coping skills (Brauer et al., 2021). Interestingly, research on adults with Type 1 diabetes found that those who engaged in daily play with their partners reported better positive mood. They also reported more effective coping, improved relationship quality, and stronger social bonds. These benefits indirectly supported better diabetes self-care. When someone maintains a playful, childlike spirit into adulthood, they demonstrate psychological flexibility. They also show emotional intelligence, resilience, and courage to prioritize joy over others’ judgments. Their awareness of the present moment is evident too.

So how can adults incorporate more play into their lives?

The National Institute for Play identifies eight “play personalities” you can explore:

• The Joker
• The Kinesthete
• The Explorer
• The Competitor
• The Director
• The Collector
• The Artist/Creator
• The Storyteller

Practical ways to play include creating regular rituals like weekly game nights or comedy movie viewings with friends. Embrace workplace play through brief playful interactions that enhance teamwork and creativity. Be spontaneous together with impromptu dance parties or improv games. Exercise playfully through activities like tag or ultimate frisbee rather than regimented workouts. Laugh more deliberately by watching comedy together or trying laughter yoga.

In romantic relationships, playfulness is particularly valuable. Psychiatrist Stuart Brown notes that couples who sustain mutual playfulness tend to navigate relationship challenges more effectively, and a 2021 study found that “other-directed playfulness”—the kind that focuses on entertaining and engaging with others—is especially important for intimate relationships (Brauer et al., 2021). Solo play matters too. Pursuing hobbies purely for joy rather than productivity is beneficial. Cultivating curiosity through new experiences can restore a sense of wonder. Practicing playful reframing when facing challenges is helpful. Returning to childhood loves can also bring delight.

What happens when adults don’t play?

Stuart Brown warns that “play deprivation” manifests in telling ways. He notes that play-deprived adults are “not much fun to be around.” Research links lack of play to increased stress and anxiety. It also leads to reduced creativity and problem-solving ability. There’s lower life satisfaction, weakened social connections, decreased resilience, and a higher risk of burnout. It’s time to challenge the cultural narrative that equates adult playfulness with irresponsibility. The research is clear: playfulness isn’t about avoiding adult responsibilities—it’s about approaching life, including its challenges, with creativity, flexibility, joy, and resilience.

Conclusion

When you laugh with coworkers during a stressful day, you’re leveraging a powerful stress-management tool. When you approach a difficult problem with playful curiosity, you’re accessing your most creative problem-solving capacities. The adults who seem “childish” to others may actually be showing sophisticated emotional intelligence. They demonstrate psychological flexibility. Additionally, they have the courage to prioritize well-being over appearances. Their childlike spirit isn’t a deficit—it’s a superpower.

As George Bernard Shaw observed, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” So the next time someone tells you to “grow up,” consider that you might already be doing the most mature thing possible: choosing play, laughter, and joy as essential ingredients for a well-lived life. After all, as the research abundantly shows, a little silliness might be exactly what the doctor ordered.

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References

Books:

• Brown, S., & Vaughan, C. (2009). Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul. Avery.
• Cousins, N. (1979). Anatomy of an Illness. W.W. Norton & Company.

Academic Articles:

• Blanche, E. I., Chang, M. C., & Parham, L. D. (2024). Experiences of Adult Play. The American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 78(4), 7804185040.
• Brauer, K., Sendatzki, R., & Proyer, R. T. (2021). Adult playfulness: An update on an understudied individual differences variable and its role in romantic life. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 15(3).
• Dunbar, R. I., et al. (2012). Social laughter is correlated with an elevated pain threshold. Proceedings of the Royal Society B, 279(1731), 1161-1167.
• Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. American Psychologist, 56(3), 218-226.
• Mora-Ripoll, R. (2011). Potential health benefits of simulated laughter: A narrative review of the literature and recommendations for future research. Complementary Therapies in Medicine, 19(3), 170-177.
• Proyer, R. T. (2014). Perceived functions of playfulness in adults: Does it mobilize you at work, rest, and when being with others? Revue européenne de psychologie appliquée, 64(5), 241-250.
• Willroth, E. C., et al. (2023). Well-being as a protective factor against cognitive decline and dementia: A review of the literature. The Journals of Gerontology: Series B, 78(5), 765-776.
• Yim, J. (2016). Therapeutic benefits of laughter in mental health: A theoretical review. Tohoku Journal of Experimental Medicine, 239(3), 243-249.

Organizations & Resources:

• National Institute for Play: https://nifplay.org
• Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor: https://www.aath.org
• HelpGuide.org: Articles on adult play and well-being